The enemy has been trying to stop me from writing this because he knows that my words have power to heal others. When we allow Satan to tell us that we are all alone and no one will understand us and what we’re going though, we give him power to discourage us from blessing others. Your story matters.
Dear God, I pray that my story finds itself in the hands of exactly who needs to read this. Amen.
How do you explain to others how self-confidence or lack thereof affects how you date or don’t date? From the time of my mid-teen years, I felt a disconnect from the crushes I had and the way I viewed myself. In my mind, I was below average in the looks department, why? Because my skin wasn’t perfect or because the popular girls made me feel inadequate. I’m not sure to this day when those negative voices of self-doubt first arose. I always felt like I was the shy, socially awkward girl that guys ignored. The image I saw of myself in my head was of this demi-adult woman, so to speak, who was an imposter trying to play dress up with clothes that were too big.
As a woman, how can you be expected to even approach a guy you like, in any setting, if you’ve already decided in your mind that the odds are stacked against you?! So you carry yourself as such. You move with timidness and try to be as small as possible. You don’t much care for spotlights because you’re afraid everyone will see what you see in yourself. You become your own bully. Cruel , unkind and untrue words, once whispers, have now grown so loud that they’re all you can hear now.
And then one night, you’re suddenly awakened by someone or something. He says, “who are you to decide your worthiness?! Did I not knit you together in your mother’s womb?! Are you not fearfully and wonderfully made?! Who are you to steal someone’s opportunity to be blessed by you and to bless you?! The very breath in your lungs and the beating of your heart is a reminder that you are in fact, made with purpose and worthy not worthless.” If I saw a girl saying the things that I’ve allowed Satan to say to me, I know I couldn’t be silent. So why it is any different when it’s me?
Here’s what it boils down to:
How can I say to a young girl that she is worthy of love and respect and then turn around and allow Satan to tell me I’m worthless and unloveable and believe it? I’m a hypocrite if I do.
Driven To Hope 